TheBabyCarriers

Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category

Do you take your young son to the ladies’ room when he has to tinkle? Does your husband take your young daughter to the men’s room when she has to go “NOW! Daddy!”

It’s a common problem among parents: knowing when a child is old enough to use gender-appropriate public restrooms.

The family bathroom, which offers extra unisexual space for parents and their children, is not found in every store and restaurant. Meaning, at some point, moms and dads have to decide if it is wiser to bring their son into the ladies’ room or their daughter into a men’s restroom, if they are solo with an opposite gender child.

Donovan O’Neil chose to do the latter, and it landed him in the headlines.

According to reports, the Maryland father claims a security guard accosted him after he took his 3-year-old and 1-year-old daughters to the men’s restroom at the Frederick County Department of Social Services.

“He banged on the (stall) door like he was a cop,” O’Neil told reporters. “He was just really inappropriate about it.”

What’s more, O’Neil says that when he and his daughters exited the bathroom stall the guard reprimanded him in front of a crowd.

As for the guard, he says he was just doing his job. The security worker maintains that he was responding to a complaint made by someone who had used the restroom while O’Neil was in the stall with his daughters.

Long story short, O’Neil wants an apology from the security guard, but the worker says he doesn’t plan to issue one.

Meanwhile, the father of two says his 3-year-old daughter has been so traumatized by the restroom incident that she now refuses to step foot in public bathrooms.

Frankly, I don’t see what all the fuss is about. After all, O’Neil had both children tucked away in a stall while his older daughter did her business. It isn’t as though he lined her up with the rest of the men at the urinals to pee. Furthermore, she THREE! As a mother of a daughter not much older than O’Neil’s I can safely say that the girl was probably more concerned about getting on a potty before she wet herself than she was in what other male patrons were doing in the restroom.

What do you make of the security guard’s reaction? What would you do if a child had to go to the bathroom, and the only one to take him/her was an opposite-gender parent?

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In the past two days, I have witnessed two “sippy cup incidents” and I thought this might be a good place to discuss them. The first one, I was taking a cross-town bus and there was a two-year-old (or so) sitting in front of me(or standing, actually) alternating licking the condensed and foggy bus window and pouring juice from his sippy cup into the ridges around the window and down the wall. The second was last night at a fairly swanky art gallery show opening for three local artists. I quickly assessed that one of the artists was a twenty-something mother since there were several young families wandering about with strollers (yes, in an art gallery) and there were a couple well-dressed toddlers bounding about swinging leaking sippy cups amidst the walls of art. Needless to say, the curator looked much more anxious than normal.

Now, before someone accuses me of being one of those cranky old people who thinks children should be seen and not heard, I hope you’ll remember that is not me at all–my issue is not with children being at art openings (I think that is fabulous) and I do realize that we have become an incredibly mobile society–water bottles and portable EVERYTHING taken into account–my issue is that I don’t think anyone ought to be dribbling juice down a bus wall or on the carpet and furniture in a public space. If truth be told, I didn’t even let my kids walk around the house with their sippy cups when they were toddlers–there was a place at the counter where they could have them and come for drinks and when we were out in public, it was a sit down and have a drink situation.

I get that life is messy and that parents want convenience and I really am not stodgy (at least I don’t think so) but I do think there needs to be some manners and protocol–even for the young set (and their parents). I am all for breastfeeding in public and I don’t even have a problem with children USING sippy cups when they are out and about, I just think, for the good of the order and the consideration of other people and possessions, that it ought to be a contained activity. I think we’re asking a lot from a two-year-old when we expect that a toddler unsupervised with a tippy cup will not use it as paint, science experiment or simply leave it toppled on its side drizzling liquid…

What do you think?

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Can you really have a relaxing vacation when you are constantly breaking up fights between your tweens while looking for the purple pail and shovel set that your preschooler MUST have NOW or ELSE?

For some parents, the answer is an irrefutable “no,” which is why more and more moms and dads are opting to take nannycations.

The simple concept means that another trusted adult is around 24/7 to help deal with warring kids, beach meltdowns, mini-golfing fits and cannonball mishaps at the hotel pool. The extra set of hands and eyes also allows parents to actually get in a few hours of alone time. After all, we all know how difficult it is to get lost in rag mags or Oprah’s latest book selection while a wet toddler is trying to crawl over you so he can dig into your bag of pretzels.

Nannies also come in handy when you and your spouse want to enjoy a night out alone to watch the sunset or dine al fresco. Or, if you simply want someone else to deal with the dreaded bedtime routine complete with complaints about brushing teeth, whines about getting into pajamas, and fights over who gets dibs on the pullout couch instead of the lumpy rollaway bed. Let the nanny deal with it while you sip a tropical libation and enjoy some much needed peace and quiet.

The problem with this idealistic vacation scenario is that your appointed caregiver must be paid for his/her duties. If money is no object and your spouse and kids happily embrace the idea, then taking a nannycation is a no-brainer. However, there are some childhood “experts” who frown upon nannycations.

Critics of nanny-enriched family vacations claim that parents are doing their kids a disservice by bringing along hired help. Said “experts” say that family vacations should be just that–for family members only. They go on to say that by spending quality time with your children in a fun setting you show them that they are worthy of your love and attention. Conversely, by putting the nanny in charge while you hit the links or the trails solo sends a message to some kids that they are a burden to their own parents or unwanted baggage that can easily be pawned off on a family employee.

I’m not sure I agree with the “experts” on this one–mainly because I was a nanny and often accompanied my “employers” on vacation. I loved the kids, they loved me and I got to visit ultra-luxe travel destinations that I would have had no chance of getting near had it not been for select nannycations.

Alas, those days are long gone. There’s no way I could afford to bring a nanny along on our family vacations today, but I certainly wouldn’t roll my eyes at parents who do.

What are your thoughts on nannycations? Have you ever brought a babysitter on vacation?

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